Can you imagine your husband being gone most nights, holidays, and weekends? This next mama Casey, who was nominated by Mama Nicole, has this life her husband is a fireman. She talks about her journey of being a mother. Here’s her story:
Where do I begin? My husband, Jeff, and I originally met about 13 or 14 years ago. He is really good friends with a cousin of mine. About 11 years ago we both happened to be single, and my cousin thought it would be a good idea to set us up. We were both a little hesitant having just come out of bad relationships but thought we’d give it a try.
We took things slow and became more friends first. At the time, I was working as a hair stylist, and he was a firefighter studying for his Engineers test. With his schedule, he is gone half the month, and I was busy working every day trying to build a clientele, so it made it easier to take things slow. We dated for a little over two years, and then he proposed at June Lake, and I said yes! We were engaged for about a year and a half before we were married on September 15, 2007.
After we were married, I officially moved in with him in Camarillo. I didn’t like being alone at night when he was at work, but that was part of our life now. 6 months later we moved to Moorpark, where we live between 1 and 7 miles from our parents, which isn’t so bad. As we approached our one year wedding anniversary, we became pregnant with our now six-year-old son, Jacob. I went back to work for about six months and really just wanted to be home with the baby.
Trying to work around a firefighters schedule and spend time together as a family was becoming difficult. We were fortunate enough for me to quit working and stay home with the baby. I was able to work from home a little bit because I still liked what I did. Three years later our now two 1/2-year-old daughter, Carsyn was born. I still work from home very part time as I am busy with my two munchkins and Jeff is now a fire captain and their union president. He is very busy with work, and his schedule doesn’t always pan out when it comes to holidays and such, but as much as he’s gone, he’s home. He gets to be around for a lot of things and is very involved in our kids lives.
We love to go camping with friends and family. We go to beaches, lakes, mountains, dirt bike riding in the desert, and we love going to Disneyland.
It is very hard!! One of the hardest parts is being a single mom half of the time. After the kids have gone to bed, I am usually still cleaning up dinner, dishes, toys and doing laundry. The other hardest part is trying not to think about what he does at work and not worrying about him. People always ask me if I worry, and all I can say is, “of course I do! But I can’t let myself think about that”. What I miss most is not having my best friend to talk to or hang out with when the kids are at school or have gone to bed.
If you could talk to a someone that was about to start this life of being a fireman’s wife, would advice would you give them?
My advice to a new fire wife would be that you need to learn to be independent in a lot of ways. To remember that they are at work and can’t help with certain things. I would also tell them to be a good listener and try to be patient with their moods. Sometimes they come home and just want to sleep because they were up all night running calls or at a fire. Or maybe they had a bad call that affected them. Sometimes my husband will talk about a call that happened days ago, and all I can do is listen because I know there is no way I can possibly understand what he must go through.
Sometimes I need to remind myself to take my own advice. You get to a point where you just think of them as being at work, and forget what they are actually dealing with on the job.
Having him come and go does get difficult. I joke with him that sometimes I feel like he is a visitor that stops by and stays here every so often, hahaha. The kids and I definitely have our routines and way of doing things. Then dad comes home and interrupts things a little bit. But, I know it’s hard on him too because he has to come home and try to fit in to our normal routines. It doesn’t always feel like his “castle” to him. Hahaha
It is very important that I teach my children that they can do anything they need or want to do. I want them to be independent but still not be afraid to lean on someone. I hope they learn that even though our schedules are not ideal or what I had always dreamed of… we make it work for us because we love each other and we do what we have to do! I want them to pursue their dreams, stand up for themselves, and never lose the loving hearts they have!
What do you wish you did more of?
Hmmm… that’s a hard question. I, like most people I’m sure, wish I had more time to travel! But hopefully that day will come after my kids have grown and started their own lives. On one hand I wish my husband and I had more time together. On the other hand, I can’t imagine my life any other way. I love the time I have with my kids and the time the kids and I get with my husband.
I am fortunate for the life I have and very proud to be a Firefighters wife.
Now that you have told the Mother Effin Truth, who do you want to nominate to tell their story as a mother? And why?
Now that I’ve told the Mother Effin Truth, I nominate Mama Corina! She is an amazing woman and mother of two. She too is married to a firefighter but also carries her own career as a detective. In spite of their conflicting work schedules, Corina and her husband still find ways to raise a beautiful family and loving home. I cannot wait for you to hear her story!