I love when I get emails from moms not just bloggers, who just need to get their feelings out. Then they decide to share it with me, & then I decided to share it with you. Your words can make another mother feel like she isn’t alone. She isn’t going insane. She isn’t a bad mother.
We are only human.
So today Mama Natalie is expressing her feelings on the “Tug of War of motherhood”
If my arms were ropes, they would look worn, thinned and frayed. Constantly being pulled from the left and the right is this tug of war at my heart.
The strength on the other end of those ropes is that of a two and a half-year-old and a tiny three-month-old. My son. My daughter.
Last night I found myself thinking over and over “I am at the end of me” while rocking my restless daughter who needs to have a poop and hasn’t yet.
Dear God MAKE HER POOP.
Down the hall, I hear the moans and cries of my boy. Sick with a head cold and needing me.
I quickly laid down my baby girl to tend to him. He was shivering and snotty nosed. Finally, a chance to give my boy all of me….
That is until I hear the shrills of my baby who needs me just as much at the VERY SAME TIME.
My husband, my partner, and rock are gone for 24 hours.
He’s a firefighter who leaves me alone to tackle bedtime every third night ALONE. I dread bedtime now.
Ever since I had my daughter a few months ago, I feel ill-equipped to do this. She’s fussy, and he goes insanely wild at the same time. I have cried. I have cussed. I have wondered how long this lasts…
I don’t love these days. Not at all. I am honored to be their mama. I know I will look back and miss them needing me so much.
But for now, I pray a lot and drink copious amounts of coffee. And now I must go because at this very moment both of them are crying for me AGAIN….
Written by: Natalie Henebry