I’m Not A Crunchy Mom, Just Cheap & Lazy!

By Monday, August 1, 2016 0 No tags Permalink 1

Please for the love of mercy, clean the sand out of your lady parts and get off my back! I’m not crunchy!

Let me educate you, because clearly it is needed!

Crunchy mama defined (per Urban Dictionary): Mother who supports homebirth, breastfeeding, baby wearing, cloth diapering, co-sleeping, gentle discipline, etc. One who questions established medical authority; tends to be vegetarian and/or prepare all-organic foods.

As a mom of four kids, my parenting style is constantly envolving. Things change with time, new research supports different things, and exposure to new experiences and ideas change my way of thinking.

For anyone that isn’t a regular follower, I breastfeed, baby wear, reluctantly co-sleep and just recently began cloth diapering. Apparently that last one was the one that broke the camels back! I’ve been told I’m a hippy, crunchy, yada yada yada……..ummmm let me correct you, I’m cheap and lazy!

Baby fusses. Stick a boob in his mouth. Baby gets an owie. Stick a boob in his mouth. Baby is tired. Stick a boob in his mouth. Baby is bored and wants to pull hair. Stick a boob in his mouth. See the trend here, my sweater puppets keep me from having to symptom check other things, pretty lazy on my part, and they are free, so I enjoy the financial aspect as well!

I’ve been asked a zillion times how I go out with all the kids at once by myself. My answer always begins with, “Well, Jayce goes in the Tula.” The thought of carrying an infant car seat around while keeping hold of the other 2-3 kids I have with me sounds utterly exhausting. So yes, baby wearing for the win, because I don’t really want to use more energy than is necessary!

Co-sleeping just happens, please see previous paragraph about what happens when the baby fusses or is tired. I don’t want him to sleep in our bed, but it again, seems awfully tiring to get up and stay awake everytime he wants to eat at night, I’d rather just “open the buffet” and go back to sleep!

As for cloth diapering, it is SO much cheaper than disposables! (Google it, it’s true) I completely regret not doing it earlier in child rearing! I’m all about saving a dime! So when people say, “OMG….you have to deal with *gasp*…..shit!” Yeah, just as much as when I clean out shitty underwear from an accident a kid had or clean it up off the floor when someone didn’t make it in time. Turns out, dealing with shit is part of parenting, I’m just choosing the cheaper way!

So no, I’m not a Crunchy Mama. I eat meat, had a c-section, yell at my kids while calling them a-holes under my breath, and vaccinate everyone!

I’m yet to find a window decal that fits my current lifestyle……. Where’s the one that has all the symbols followed by “Tired Cheap Mama”!

Oh and let’s not forget, I just put an amber teething necklace on the baby, because at this point I’ll try anything! #teethingisabitch

To the legit Crunchy Mamas out there, you go girls! Do what you do, no judgement, it’s just not me!

Written by the funny Nicole Snyder. Read more of her #momlife at >>>www.myunfilteredchaos.blogspot.com

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